Long as I Can See the Light

To everyone at Indiana University- I’d like to wish each and everyone one of you a very happy and celebratory Little 500 Week. Of course, I miss it like crazy but know I am trying my best to keep the spirit alive here in LA. I appreciate all the celebration in my honor, because let’s face it: none of you really care about a bike race.

For everyone who DID NOT understand what that was about: WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!! Or for those of you whose first time it is to this blog: 1) Why is NOW your first time? And 2) WELCOME!! It’s that time of week again when I have found the time to take the thoughts in my brain and put them on the internet in a way that seems coherent at least to me. Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, and Uncle John: I know you read this blog. I appreciate it and I hope it makes sense- love you all.  Welcome back.

Let’s see, last time we left our Basic Cable Intern heroine, she was off fighting the evils of ranch dressing and vegetable plates in the Green Room while making sure the place was clean and guests were well taken care of. (To any English-loving Grammarians: I know it is not proper to end a sentence with a preposition

I could hardly breathe when I saw this up close- I wish I was joking...

, but just TRY to stop me)

This week was somewhat run-of-the-mill. As much as it can be that way at CONAN, some of the Talent Internship related perks were seeing Tracy Morgan interact with Larry King. They were SO excited to see one another. It was really cute. As Larry King walked by Tracy’s dressing room, leaving the make-up room, the entire Green Room heard, “ LARRY! LARRY KING!!!” from Tracy’s room. They both went on to make a terrific show that day. AS far as guests went this week, Rap Hype Man, Lil Jon was on the show, and I thought the “lil” (standing for “little”) in his name was just for effect, but WOW, he was VERY little. It was ridiculous, not dissing on him, just stating facts. (Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Uncle John- I’m so sorry you won’t know who that is.)

Like I said, the week was pretty day-to-day until Friday. On Friday, once again my Stick Shift driving skills came to fruition.  On Friday last week, I got the privilege to drive Conan’s 1992 green Ford Taurus. Click this Link to catch you up on it’s vague history: http://www.noob.us/humor/conan-o-brien-talks-about-his-92-ford-taurus/ (my REAL introduction to the Ford Taurus- can we also just notice the guy he is working with in this sketch is NAMED Elliott?)  OR more recently:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uukjz0Gyv8s But basically, while those were Late Night and Tonight Show clips respectively, Conan has been using this car forever. I even saw an old registration in it that was for New York from 1996. He actually owns this car. Anywho I had to take it to get a SMOG test. In LA, all cars are required to take a smog test. While I cannot tell you the results of the test, you shouldn’t care- what matters is I GOT TO DRIVE THAT CAR. He actually owns, it, actually drives it.  Once again, there are HUGE perks in knowing how to drive a manual transmission. I need to be upfront though: I have been watching Conan drive this car and play around with it on TV since I was like what, 10? And this was an absolute dream come true.  My friend and fellow intern, Allyssa, accompanied me on my excursion to smog  check  and replace the battery this car. To get it started we needed a jump. Every time we needed a jump. The car is missing the rear view mirror AND driver’s side mirror- it’s illegal to drive without the rear view mirror, but I figured if any cop pulled me over, I’d use the old, “This is my Boss’s car” routine, and “Oh, my Boss is CONAN O’BRIEN.” But I never got a chance to do so because LA police are too busy to pull over some punk kid like me for driving

Before "Cell Phones" there were "Car Phones"

without a rearview mirror.  BUT like I said, this was SO exciting for me. This was a piece of Conan O’Brien history. I might as well have been riding the Monorail that was sung about in the Simpsons episode he wrote, or  running lines with Dana Carvey and Mike Myeres on any of the SNL sketches he wrote between 1987-1991. It was SO COOL. I nearly died when I was given the assignment. And once again, it was all because I can drive a stick shift- and not to brag, but I drive one REALLY well.  So that was EASILY the highlight of my week. Seriously, those clips of the Taurus I have on here: I remember watching those when they first aired. I hope but doubt you can fully understand how much this means to me (except for Allyssa, my intern buddy and Peter Elliott)

In addition to driving the “Green Machine”, the “Emerald Monster”, “Johnny Jonestown,” the “Sh** Box” as Conan so delicately calls it, I also got to wish my Dad a Happy Birthday. So once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TJ!!! I love you!! For my Dad’s bday, I asked Andy Richter if we could snap a shot because my Dad thinks Andy is the funniest guy on earth. Of course Andy said yes. He is, like I’ve said, the nicest guy ever.  Anyway I want to share that with you. It is incredible to see another fellow semi-Hoosier, doing such awesome things. When I thanked him again the next day for taking the picture he said, “Oh good! But I didn’t believe you actually took it because I didn’t see it on the internet.” Classic Andy. Also, I love you Dad (and Mom).

So I hope those videos worked for you. If you were too cool and didn’t watch them, you are missing out on a lot of good backstory. If you already were familiar with the Ford Taurus, watch them again and I guarantee you will laugh out loud. I’ve said it once, and I will say it again: Conan is one of the most naturally funny people I have ever been in contact with in my life. He is amazing and those sketches (esp. the Late Night ((1st)) one, are proof).

Well for now, it is on to greener pastures, and by that I mean bedtime.

Until we meet again, know that I am thinking of you all and loving every minute of my days at CONAN.

Andy- Now it's on the internet, you can believe the pictute took


23) You can see a free movie at any given moment. Since this is where Movies are made, they are always looking for test audiences. DO NOT BE FOOLED. If you are going to attend a “screening” for “free” please be aware that you will be required to give feedback to the movie. While I have yet to attend one of these, I know several people who have and because of that had to fill out long-winded questionnaires. As a great *the italics is for sarcasm* teacher I once had said, “There is no such thing as a free lunch” and let me tell you, there is no such thing as a free movie.

24) Nobody does their own gardening. In Indiana (REPRESENT!), I feel the majority of people do their own gardening and take pride in it. My parents do theirs, Kevin’s parent’s to theirs, my Grandpa does his, and if my Nana needs anything, you can bet your sweet bippy my Dad, Brothers or myself are down there to do it. In California, everyone hires out their yard work. In the case of the lady I live with, Tracy, I understand- she can’t do it all on her own. But on my daily morning runs, I am SHOCKED by the number of obviously rented-out workers mowing lawns and edging sidewalks. Conclusion= Californians are lazier than we thought.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Aunt Mar on April 19, 2011 at 8:55 am

    This was great! I am a little disappointed that I wasn’t included in the list of people who read your blog every week but only because you might think I don’t care. Looking forward to seeing you back in Indy for even a short time! Much love. Aunt Mar
    p.s. I don’t know lil jon either.
    p.s.s. I can’t believe that Conan hasn’t hired you yet! Who will drive his cars if you move on?

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